That one night
by Star1086
Summary: Goodbye,Toby" continued. What went on later that night? More than you'd expect. I changed the rating due to language, I apparently have a potty mouth.
1. fireworks

A/N- I fixed the weird underline font that seemed to creep out of nowhere.

Thanks for the reviews, it's very encouraging :)

I don't own anything The Office. If I did, I would assure you things would be different.

Pam never had felt so disappointed. She thought tonight was the night. It was so perfect: the Ferris wheel, the music, the fireworks. And then Jim, he was so oddly excited that entire day. She thought for sure this was it. But it wasn't. Instead she had to watch as Andy took the microphone and make a very awkward proposal to Angela. Pam felt a little part of her shatter in jealousy; she secretly had hoped that Angela would say no to make Andy shut up.

"You know, I just really thought that Jim was going to propose tonight."

After she confided to the camera crew her obvious disappointment she went to find herself a beer. Jim had disappeared somewhere for what seemed like ages ago, and that was a comfort to her for the time being. She couldn't help but feel a little cheated; like this perfect day was stolen by somebody else's happiness.

She tilted her head back to let the cool liquid of the alcohol sooth her suddenly tight throat. She used the brick wall of the building to support her weight, staring at the sparkling lights of the Ferris wheel.

She couldn't help but feel a little angry at Jim, albeit unwarranted, but why had he been joking so much about proposing if he didn't intend to?

Her eyes settled on Dwight, and she knew that whatever she was feeling, he was feeling a million times as dreadful. "I guess it could be worse," she muttered out loud as she drained the rest of her beer and padded off the find herself another one. This was going to be a long night.

Jim was left wondering around the premises of Dunder Miflin, nursing an already warm beer. The weight of the little velvet box a constant reminder of his lost chance. "Fucking Andy," Jim muttered for what seemed like the mullioned time in the last hour. But that's all he could do; curse the man who stole his moment. Everything was going perfectly. He had the ring in his hand, he was about to do it. . .

"Fucking Andy," he muttered again as he took another swig. He wished he could be drunk. He really wished he could rewind and replay the moment; like it was suppose to happen. He worried if he had missed his chance. What if she would have said no? Cold fear rushed through his veins like a toxin. What if she said no? He thought again. She had been engaged once before, and she was just accepted into an incredible art program. What if marriage wasn't in her deck of cards? What if she didn't want to be engaged, to be married? To him? At that thought he drained the rest of his beer and took a new one from his suit pocket. He knew he would have to find her eventually. To face the doubt and dread of her face. He sat down on the sidewalk. He could still see the fence from where he sat. He remembered the night his cockiness got them locked into the stupid office.

He reminisced of all the things that he's screwed up in his life; but he didn't want this moment to be one of those moments he'd look back and regret the one perfect moment that got away. He threw back his beer and chugged; trying to forget this terrible day.

Pam had just finished her third beer before she started to feel slightly inhibited. She walked over to Angela, congratulating her in a muted, soft voice.

"It's just so wonderful," She started, beer in hand as she stared at the sparkling ring on Angela's left hand. "You must be really happy." It wasn't really a question; just a confirmation that this was what was supposed to happen tonight for Angela and Andy.

Angela, for her part, just stared back at her- her face neutral.

"Yes, I suppose," she started, but Pam didn't miss that she wistfully stared at Dwight's direction.

"Well you should be happy.," Pam told her frankly. "Because you should be with the one that you love. And this is what happens when you're in love." Pam realized the lump developing in her throat. She chased it away with her beer. Suddenly everything became clear for her.

She stared at Angela with intensity. "You should be with the one you love." She enunciated more than she needed to, but she wanted to get the point a crossed.

Angela finally met her gaze. Pam looked from her ring to Angela's hidden gaze into Dwight's directions. She smiled sadly. "Be with the one you love." Angela smiled weakly and stared freely into Dights direction, Pam nodded as she walked away and gulped at her fourth beer, knowing full well what she had done.


	2. uh oh

Pam was swaying slightly as she watched Darryl and his band start to wind down for the night. The soft playing of the music was strangely comforting; like a soft lullaby soothing out of reality. Pam knew she had had enough to drink. She rarely drank as it was and now she wasn't sure how many beers she had thrown back in some feeble attempt to make that night bearable. She was glad she didn't drive, Jim picking her up that morning.

"Jim," she spoke softly, as realization set in. She was going to have to sit in the car with Jim on the way home. Anxiety set in as she thought of having to sit in silence; wanting so much to say something, but knowing she never would.

Why did she want to get married anyway? She was happy with Jim, happier than she had remember being for a long time. He supported her and her art, and made her feel loved. She should be happy with just where she was. But she wasn't. She glared down at her naked ring finger and felt a dull ache; like losing something she never had.

She suddenly felt nauseous, her sight blurring slightly as she realized she was crying. She quickly wiped her hands carelessly across her eyes, feeling stupid. She was going to find Jim, tell him that this is what she wanted. She wanted him. She pushed a quick breath out and turned around to find him.

And crashed full on to Toby Flenderson's figure heading around the corner. "Oh," she gasped, as she bounced off of Toby's figure. She stumbled, the alcohol inparing her balance, and Toby had to wrap his arms around hers to keep her from falling. She braced herself by flattening her hands against his chest. "Oh, sorry Toby, I didn't see you." She muttered, once again wiping at her eyes.

"You doing okay there, Pam?" Toby muttered, taking in her watery eyes. He still had his hands around her arms to keep her steady.

Pam looked up at him and forced a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine, I just uh," she paused, not wanting to share her secret hope for that evening. So she lied. "I'm just really bummed that you're leaving, I'm going to really miss you Toby." She nodded her head at him, trying to avoid talking about Jim at that moment.

Toby for his part had been quietly staring appraisingly at Pam's face, seemingly trying to memorize her soft features. Pam felt his thumbs grazing the sensitive skin of her arms as he rubbed them unconsciously against her.

"Some night." He mused, not releasing the hold of her arms or the attention on her face.

"Yeah, some night." Pam agreed, feeling suddenly awkward in Toby's embrace. She moved her hands off of his chest to step back, but Toby tightened his hold on her as his head dropped, looking at something intently at his feet.

Pam's heart suddenly began to race. All she could think was something bad was about to happen.

"Toby," she began, wanting to diffuse the situation quickly.

Toby's face shot up and pinned her with his stare; Pam's skin began to prickle.

"Pam, I have to tell you something," He began, his voice faltering as if he was struggling with what to say. Pam opened her mouth to interject, but he beat her to it.

"I'm in love with you." He finished, and dropped his gaze back to his feet. "I just, I just wanted to let you know." He sighed loudly and she could tell he was forcing a smile. Pam's head was spinning, she was suddenly fighting the nausea that ebbed up on her from nowhere. She realized with horror that she was going to be sick. She squeezed Toby's arms and took a deep breath in, willing herself to stop spinning. It was all too much for her to take in at that moment, and she suddenly regretted drinking anything at all that night.

Toby looked back up at her and responded to her grip, looking at her face once before he pulled her roughly towards him and into a kiss.

Jim was tired of waiting. He was tired of waiting for the woman he knew so entirely that he loved. He was ready. Pam had been his entire world for so long, and he wanted to show her what she meant to him. His heart floored as he downed the rest of his beer and tossed the bottle at the brick of the building, smiling as he heard the glass shatter. "Screw Andy." He spat as he pulled himself off the concrete, springing into his heavy gate. He felt his hands perspire as he thought about what he was about to do.

He didn't need fireworks, or music or the perfect setup. He was going to find Pam, tell her exactly what he means to him and ask her to marry him, right then and there. It was happening tonight.

The feeling of exhilarating washed over Jim. He could hear his blood pumping in his ears as he practiced what he was going to say.

"Pam, I love you, and I know this isn't exactly what I had planned, but I want to marry you…" he mumbled, shook his head and tried again.

"Pam, there's no fireworks, but I don't need them when I'm with you. . ." He rolled his eyes at his own cheesy lameness.

He was still mumbling and sprinting around the corner to find Pam. This was it.

He came to a dead stop and stared in horror; he didn't need to find Pam. It appeared that she had found him.


	3. the begining of the end

A/N: I've been doing some cleaning up. Please ignore all the mistakes that are left , I'll get the buggers.

Pam's brain had disconnected from the rest of her body. She knew faintly what was happening; yet she couldn't react. Toby was kissing her, gripping her tightly against him.

She felt detached from herself. She could vaguely tell he was kissing her, his fingers gripped in the skin of her arms, but she couldn't fathom how she came into this mess.

She tried to pull away from him, trying to talk into his mouth. The only thing that escaped her lips was a small noise; in which he mistook as an invitation. She felt his arms rake around her back as he pushed her against him, his mouth opening to push his tongue into her mouth.

The tip of Toby's tongue pulled Pam back into the universe. She was kissing Toby. Oh god, she thought, this is all wrong. She thought over and over again. With more force, she pushed away from him, their lips parting in a smacking sound.

"Jim," She started, staring at him in disbelief. She meant for it to sound more authoritative, as if it was an explanation.

Then she heard it, footsteps shuffling quickly and then stopping. Her head turned and she felt her blood drain from her face. "Jim." She spoke this time to the lanky figure that had stumbled across them.

Jim felt as though he had been punched in the stomach. He suddenly couldn't breathe. He felt his world crack as he watch Toby kiss Pam, his arms pulled around her in an embrace. He felt sick.

He braced himself on his knees for a second, trying to get his hands to stop shaking and words to come back to him.

"Jim", he heard her say, but he didn't look up. He pushed his eyes closed, feeling the lump set in his throat as he tried desperately to push it away. He heard shuffling as Pam quickly crossed over to him.

He stopped her, suddenly finding his voice. "Don't. Just don't" He spat curtly, still refusing to open his eyes to look at her. Maybe if he kept them closed he could pretend he wasn't facing this horrible ordeal. He stayed there for several more seconds, feeling his heart turn cold, pumping a frosty slush through his veins.

He heard her speak again, timidly at first, "Jim, just listen, please." She started. Jim finally opened his eyes and looked up at her, his hands still resting firmly on his knees.

"Listen to what Pam?" He asked, fighting the anger and anquish that had taken hold of him. "Listen to why Toby's tongue was stuffed halfway down your throat?" He finally stood to his full height, now eaily towering past Pam to look at Toby. "What the hell man?" He spat at the shrinking figure of Toby, who was trying desperately to blend in with the background of the building. Toby just stared back, palms faced out toward Jim, like he was being robbed.

Jim pushed his mouth into a thin line, nodding to himself, suddenly feeling a strange sympathy for Roy.

He looked back at Pam, whose eyes were bright with tears that were already spilling over onto her cheeks. "I guess I should feel lucky." His voice shaking with the effort not to lose control of it. "I mean, this is where we first kissed." He looked around, feeling his surroundings for the first time. " You were engaged then too..." he couldn't finished his thought, emotion stinging his eyes. He looked back down at her, still taken aback by her beauty. He felt empty; hallowed from the inside. Her beautiful face was full of confusion.

"What are you talking about, Jim?" She was pleading now, not sure if she wanted him to continue or not.

Jim's face contorted as a tear spilled over onto his cheek, "Tonight was it, Pam." stuffed his hands into his pockets, feeling exposed and naked at that moment. He bit his lip as he closed his eyes, trying to find the right words to make her understand. "It was going to be tonight, but Andy, and I. . ." He stopped. He couldn't say the words out loud.

Pam's heart stopped as she felt every part of her crack and crumble under Jim's anguished stare. She wanted to find a hole somewhere to die. She cupped her face in her hands, feeling hot and sticky, tears spilling freely now.

"Please Jim, it wasn't what it looked like," She sobbed at him, understanding slowing what he was telling her.

Jim took a slow breath, closing his eyes for a moment before finding her again. "I wont be that man, Pam. You've been all I've ever wanted for so long, I wanted you to be my wife." He caught for a moment, quickly recovering. "But I can't do this." He lowered his gaze. He realized that his pocket had suddenly started to burn against him.

"Jim, please I'm sorry." Pam sobbed as she reached for him. Jim didn't move from her touch, he actually let himself melt into her skin. He tenderly reached for her face, cupping her wet chin in his hand. He rested his forehead on hers, breathing in her scent.

Pam had mashed her fingers into the material of Jim's shirt, refusing to let him go.

Pam could feel Jim's breath on her forehead as he spoke softly to her. "You're not ready for this, Pam, I know that." He cupped her cheek in his large hands and kissed her forehead tenderly.

"Please don't do this, Jim." She pleaded softly, "Please. . . I didn't know, I'm sorry".

Jim's heart ached, he wanted desperately to forget everything he saw, to forgive her and kiss away all her pain and sorrow. But the image of Toby and her had sickeningly etched itself into his memory.

"I didn't do this Pam." He sadly explained, not wanting to believe it himself. He wasn't accusing now, just concluding. His free hand and reached into the too heavy pocket as he pulled out the little velvet box. Pam's eyes followed the box and she cried harder; suddenly knowing all along.

"Please Jim," she started. "I love you."

Jim knew he had to do this quickly, or he didn't think he could go through with it. "I love you too, Pam. . . But I don't want to be something you regret in your life." He felt his eyes boil over and he swallowed hard as they both stared at the box between them.

"You're not something I regret. I'll never regret you, please." She pulled his face to look at hers and rubbed her thumbs against the hard stubble coating his cheek.

"Ask me." She softly pleaded.

Jim started the shake. He looked at her for a moment before shaking his head, now determined. He took one of her hands in his and handed her the box.

"I'm sorry Pam. I can't". He pulled away from her embrace and, stealing one last glance at his best friend, he turned on his heels and walked silently away from everything in is life.


	4. drowning

Thanks to those to offered their feedback! It's more addicting than crack. Let's continue...

Jim found himself seated on a barstool at Poor Richards, running this thumb around the lip of his beer. The whole night had been a disaster; not only did his opportunity to propose get stolen from him, he had stumbled in on Toby and Pam locked together in some kind of weird, horrifying kiss. And worse, he left Pam with the ring and walked away from her for good. "What a night." He mumbled to himself as he picked up the beer and downed it in two large gulps. He caught the eye of the bartender and nodded for another one.

"Hard night, pal?" The bartender, a squat, squinty eyed man with a poor comb over leaned over after he delivered Jim's second beer.

Jim looked up and furrowed his brow, pushing his lips together tightly before saying, "you have no idea." and started downing the drink, trying to drink that night into oblivion.

"I really thought she was the one, you know?" Jim gulped to the man. Jim didn't know why he was talking. It all just spilled out of him without him thinking. "She was the one." He corrected. Shaking his head into his drink. "I waited five years for her." he took another long drink from the bottle. He put the empty one down to find the bartender had given him a fresh one, his palms face down on the bar, listening to Jim.

"That's quite a long time." He said, matter-of-factly, like Jim was slow.

Jim smiled grimly, staring once again at his beer. "Yeah. It is. And you know what? It was worth it. She was worth waiting for." He bit at his bottom lip, the sadness breaking through the buzz that the alcohol had temporarily provided.

"I mean, I waiting and watched her be with a man for a reason I couldn't understand." Jim engaged, once again conversing with the man whose name he didn't even know. "She was engaged. But she chose me." He smiled slightly, raising one side of his mouth. "The first night I kissed her she was engaged…" Jim lost his surroundings; reliving the events from years ago. He forgot about the bartender, about the bar, about everything for a moment.

Jim had always disliked Roy; he resented him for his relationship with Pam. The way he treated her, the way he never supported her, just everything about him. He hated his stupid truck, even.

Jim pulled absentmindedly at the paper label of the bottle, pulling it off the cold glass and wadding it between his fingers.

What gave him the right to be mad at Pam and Toby? Had he not done the exact same thing that night? He rationalized it at the time; he was the better man. He could love her better than Roy ever could. Actually, if he was being honest with himself, he didn't give a damn that night about Roy. He wanted to steal Pam away, wanted to horde her away from the man that she had chosen.

Jim felt like an idiot.

"This is what you deserve, Halpter" he garbled to himself. He hid his face in his hands, still cool from fiddling with the bottle. "you sad, sorry, son of a bitch." he smoothed his hair away from his face, feeling ridiculous and slightly drunk.

"You want me to call yer a cab, buddy?" It was Mr. Bartender again, fading back into the conversation Jim was carrying on with himself.

Jim looked up, feeling slightly dizzy as he did. 'How much had I had to drink?' He thought to himself.

He shrugged, not committing to an answer. He knew he should finish making a fool of himself, but he didn't want to sit in the back of some cab in silence either. He fished out his wallet, pulling out some cash and tossing it on the bar.

"Take it easy man," he slurred to the man behind the bar and turned to leave.

He was walking towards the door when he heard the man call out to him in all his infinite wisdom;

"Hey! If she's so worth it, why you drinking here alone? Why don't you go get her?"

Jim turned, slightly shaky and felt the statement hit him like a ton of bricks; why was he here by himself, drowning himself in beer and sorrow? He wanted to be with her, he knew that. He knew that with every fiber of his miserable being.

He nodded once to the man that provided the advice , and turned of his heels to do just that.

He stumbled out of the bar, intending to walking back to Dunder Mifflin and sorting out this crappy excuse of a day. He pulled his cell phone out of his picket and dialed her number, pressing the phone to his ear as he attempted to walk in a straight line back towards the direction of the one person he had risked everything for.

He only got a few feet before he heard the shrill ringing of another phone close by. Not just any ring. His ring.

He turned, cell phone still mashed against his head when he saw her, her phone pressed against her own ear.

They stood there for a moment until he saw her mouth move into a smile and her voice in his ear.

"Hey." She greeted into the phone.

He looked back down at her and felt his lips curl into a smile, mirroring hers. "Hey."


	5. parking lot proposal

A/N I was in the mindset of leaving chapter four as the ending, but after watching an irritating SVU with my husband, I realize that I hate cliffhanger endings. **Shakes** **fist**So I decided on not being a tool and to give Jim and Pam a proper ending. I haven't decided to carry on with the story after this or to let it end on a happy note. . . hmm...

And without further ado. . .

Jim wasn't sure that he wasn't imagining her at that moment. Her face was red and blotchy and her eyes slightly puffy like she'd carried on crying even after he'd left. He could hear her soft breathing tickle his ear in the headset of his cell phone. He gulped in air and blew it back out again, and feeling the subtle hint of rain in the air as he did, he snapped the phone closed to face her.

"So," he started, stuffing his hands into his pockets, feeling stupid for not having anything better to say. He dropped his gaze to the gravel that he had started to kick with his toe.

Pam stepped into his line of sight, stepping playfully on the tip of his shoe. "You look like hell." She quipped. Jim pulled his face up to meet hers and watched as she shyly tried to pull at an errant curl that had escaped from the rest.

He smiled slightly as he tenderly pulled at the curl and tucked it behind her ear for her. "You don't look so great yourself." He joked, his fingers lingered against the side of her face for a moment before he pulled away and mashed his hand back into the warm pocket of his pants.

Pam took in Jim's figure: the smell the alcohol permeating from his breath, his eyes glazed over and sad. She couldn't help but feel a swell of grief wash over her again; her own intoxication disappearing long ago.

They stood there for several moments, engaged in an awkward dance of shifting feet and rustling hands.

It was her that broke the silence.

"Jim, I. . ." She started, dropping her shoulders before continuing, "I can't tell you how sorry I am." Her eyes locked with his, begging her sincerity. "I was drinking, and I ran into Toby, literally," she shrugged one shoulder at an attempt at humor, "and he told me that he had feelings for me and then he was kissing me and it was all I could do not to barf." She ended in rush of words, trying to get it all out at once.

Jim gave her an odd face and she realized how her explanation sounded.

"Well, I told you that I had been drinking. . ."

Jim smirked, but remained silent.

Pam took a step closer, grasping one of Jim's hands in her own. She softly rubbed her shaky fingers over his skin.

"You know what I was thinking the entire time? Other than not losing my hotdog over Toby's shoes?"

Jim shook his head, his eyes averted to their interlocked fingers.

"How much I loved you and how very much I want to be your wife." She confessed. Jim watched as Pam slipped one hand into her pocket and pulled out the little black box. Jim kept clenching and unclenching his jaw, working over everything he wanted to say, but said nothing.

"Jim," he pulled his eyes up to find hers at last, seeing the tears forming there and his jaw relaxed, his lips curling into his mouth as he chewed lightly on them.

Pam clicked open the box and fingered the glittering diamond nestled in the safety of the satin folds.

She took in a big breath, and continued, "James William Halpert," a coy smile playing on her lips, "will you do me the honor of requesting my hand in marriage?" She turned the ring to face him, a mix of apprehension and elation sprinkling her face.

Jim couldn't help it; he laughed. He felt the tension melt off him and replace itself with joy. "Oh Pam," He chuckled, as he wrapped his arms around her frame, pulling her in and kissing her forehead. He dipped his head and pulled her into a kiss, bringing his hands up to cup her face in his hands, marveling how perfectly her face fit in his hands. Pam wrapped her arms around Jim's middle, pulling him tightly, feeling as though he could slip away at any moment.

They kissed as though they were delicately relearning each other, the day becoming fuzzy and distant; for this moment it was only them.

When they finally parted, all Jim could do was smile, pulling Pam's head against her head and resting his chin on the top of her hair. She broke the silence first, talking into his chest. "So?" She asked.

He stared down at her, making a goofy face for her benefit. The face turned into a smile as he said whispered ,"Nothing would make me happier." Pam jumped giddily, as Jim took back the box and pulled out the ring, and snapping it back closed he slipped it into his pocket. "Pam?" he asked, not even needing to finished the sentence. She nodded excitedly and smiled as his hand shook as he slipped the ring onto her finger.

"Oh my god, we're engaged." He laughed. "Andy and Angela are going to be so pissed." He lifted her up and swung her around, shuffling slightly, realizing he was still slightly drunk. He didn't care.

"I wouldn't worry about Andy and Angela." Pam chuckled, waving off Jim's confused face.

"Ah, Beesly, I like you." Jim kissed her forehead, as he wrapped his planted his hand on the small of her back, leading her back towards Dunder Mifflin.

"I like you too, Jim." She followed suit, draping her arms around him and nuzzling against him. She pulled her left hand to watch the ring glitter in the parking lot light's glow.

"The best ring I ever got." She joked.

"Pam?" Jim panted, talking long strides down the sidewalk.

"mm?"

"When we tell this story can we leave out the part of you making out with Toby, me getting drunk and the weird backwards proposal? Can't we just tell everyone there was candles and roses and romantic gooey stuff?" He grinned down at her.

She stopped him, pulling on the lapels of his jacket. "No. I want to remember this night for the rest of my life." She said seriously.

"That's what I thought." He sighed.

"Suck it Halpert."

Jim's laughing voice could be heard over the silence of the early night; it defiantly didn't happen the way he thought it would, but it made it even more perfect, he thought. They didn't need fireworks. They just needed each other.

_There you go, ya'al, I took a stab at Jim's middle name. It bugged me he didn't have one. If anyone can think of a more fitting one, let me know. I was stuck on it :)_

_Thanks for reading!_


End file.
